Hi Janice,

Thank you so much. It was important for me to hear what you had to say so I can move past the past. If you don't mind I'd like to share what I've been through. I've really felt the need to tell it to someone. Hopefully it well start the healing. My mom and dad divorced when I was young probably around 7 years old or so. They fought for a short time over who would have custody of my sister and I.  My mom unfortunately won.  She was 32 and met a 18 year old high school student and they were together about 7 years.  Nick her boyfriend was a partier and got me started smoking pot when I was 13.  I suffered serious anxiety problems for most of my young life and could not go anywhere without serious mental preparation.  I even took a barf bag when I went to the grocery store.  This made it impossible to make friends because friends will want to go do things and it was just to hard for me.  My dad pretty much gave up on us and we never saw him much.  You are right I have attracted people who didn't stick around.  When I first met my ex-husband he was a wonderful man and we had a great relationship but after about a year his ex-wife left the state with their daughter and we spent the next 10 years in a horrible battle to have time with her.  My ex-husband became seriously depressed and could not pull himself out of it.  I knew he was not good for me or my kids (which I adopted from my sister becuause she was not able to raise them, she was an alcoholic).   After 11 years together I finally divorced him, his battle with his ex-wife has ended with him being acussed of molesting his daughter and he has no further contact with her.  I don't believe he did it, thats just how bad his ex-wife is.  I bought the house we lived in together and shortly after that lost my job.  I quit smoking pot, got a job at Jack in the Box, and have gone back to school.  I'm working on getting my AA in business administration with a concentration in criminal justice.  I have thought about working in forensics.  I got an A in my first class and I am doing well in my second class.  I am very proud of my self for this.  My house is unfortunately in foreclousure and I have contacted an attorney to help me hopefully not lose the house.  I have realized that this is a transition period for me but you are right I feel alone and scared and unsure of where to go from here. Growing up I could never imagine myself being an adult or doing anything, and you're right after all this I really have no confidence.  I am going to focus on what you said and focus my attention more on the possibilities of the future and not on the pain of the past.  Thank you so much for what you do and what you have shared with me.  I look forward to moving past all the pain and having a happier brighter future.                                                                                                                                                        

                                                                                                                                                                Ms.L B:)